Why Crushes are Good

To me crushes are like fantasies: I don't necessarily want to physically create an experience. It's pretty much all in mind and that's where it stays. I mean, I don't want to go out with married or taken men, but if I feel chemistry or whatever and I cannot avoid seeing them, then I'll have a little crush for a while. I will hope no one else notices. I know from past experience that the crush is all in my mind and that it will go away eventually--sometimes real soon! Crushes on men who are unattached are different, of course, but still not necessarily something I want to act on. The difference between a crush and real interest, for me, is that I'm comfortable around the guy I have a real interest in--I can be myself and I like myself when I'm around him. When I'm with a guy I have a crush on, I find myself saying stupid things and being shy. Can anyone relate?

I was talking to some girlfriends the other day. One has been married for quite a while. She misses the infatuation, the wild romance of the first few years her and her partner were together. I've heard this before from other long-married women. It's not that they're unhappy in their relationships, just that they miss the heady feeling of learning about and wanting to be close to someone new. I think that this kind of thing prompts some people to have affairs, but if you are resolute in staying committed, you can keep your hands to yourself and still have fun with a crush!